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Armastuse defitsiit
Miks on nii, et nõnda palju inimesi on eemale taritud tõelise armastuse voolavast olemusest? Miks kogetakse ja kannatatakse mõistmise asemel hukkamõistu? Miks sügav rõõm on asendunud valuga? Miks vabad inimesed, vabad hinged on lõpuks kellegi meelevallas? Miks võimumängud on saanud igapäevanähtuseks ning armastust tuleb, läbi meile esitatud tingimuste, välja teenida?
Ma olen alati olnud veendunud, et kui me küsime küsimusi, siis meile avalduvad ka vastused. Mis on tänapäeva ühiskonna totaalse kreeni vajumise tegelik põhjus?
Meie inimesed on hirmul – kardetakse jääda üksi. Ja teate miks see nii on? Sest me ise oma hoolimatusega külvame hirmu. Me ei taha märgata inimesi enda kõrval ja ümber. Me möödume ükskõikselt ja lõpuks nad usuvadki, et on miljonite inimeste keskel ihuüksi, sest keegi ei märka ega ei ütle sooja sõna.
Meie inimesed on armastuse näljas. See, mis on nii loomulik, on järsku saanud tänapäeva suurimaks defitsiidiks. Meie vanematel pole enam aega ja meie lastel pole hiljem huvi. Lihtsam on oma valu kinni mätsida ja kasvatada krõbe koorik, kui näidata oma inimlikkust. Nõnda palju kohtab hukkamõistu, et inimesed ei julge enam olla inimesed, olla nemad ise.
Me ise oleme loonud selle valede, hirmude, aktsepteerimatuse ja hoolimatuse ühiskonna. Seni, kuni Sina ei õpi ütlema: "ma armastan Sind", "ma hoolin Sinust", "ma ei oska", "ma ei suuda", "ma ei jaksa", ei julge neid lihtsaid ja inimlikke lauseid reastada ka inimesed Sinu ümber ja nii me elamegi maailmas, kus kõik näevad välja nagu raudrüüd kandvad sõdurid, kelle sisemaailm on puruks pekstud.
Me klammerdume, sest me tunneme pidevat puudust, me klammerdume, sest meil on hirmud, me ründame, sest see on parim kaitse ja me põgeneme, sest me ei oska selles viltu kasvanud ühiskonnas olla need, kes me tegelikult olla sooviksime.
Miks me süüdistame oma hädades teisi? Sest siis keegi ehk ei märka, et ma ei oska, ei suuda, et ma olen inimene. Olla inimene on justkui patt, see on nõrkuse märk. Kas ikka on? See kriitiline eestlane ei ole ilmselt tegelikult sugugi nii halb ja paha, ta lihtsalt tunneb, et lihtsam on sappi pritsida, kui olla ise millegagi üle valatud.
Kui paljud meist siis tegelikult ideaalsed on? Mitut ideaalset inimest Te reaalselt tunnete? Olla inimene, st olla ekslik. See pole häbiasi öelda, et ma vajan abi, ma vajan lähedust ja häbiasi pole ka armastada ning seda selge ja kõva häälega välja öelda.
Märgakem oma lähedasi, tunnustagem neid ja julgegem olla need, kes me tegelikult oleme. Ja kui Sa näed, et teine veel ei oska või suuda, siis ära mõista hukka, vaid anna talle aega ja anna aimu sellest, et Sa armastad teda täpselt sellisena, nagu ta on. Lihtsalt sellepärast, et ta on.
Autor: Kadri Luik
Tutvu Kadri Luige uue raamatuga "Julgus mõelda, julgus öelda II"
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